Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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