but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
