Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
