"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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