It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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