If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
