Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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