How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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