Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
