and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
