We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
