whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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