Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
P.S. I can't hear my feet
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
