ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
