these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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