i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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