he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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