She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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