you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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