I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
