sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
