I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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