i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
