wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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