Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
