yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize