I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Tell her she can't have a vagina
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
