okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
