I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You left your phone here
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