We won't sleep together?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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