Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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