when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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