Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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