a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
