So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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