so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
