I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
