I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
