I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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