hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize