There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
