So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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