Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I didn't notice because vodka
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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