My first STD was from a foam party
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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