I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
