If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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