oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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