you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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