This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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