Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't think brook has ever known best
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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