There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just pee around me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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