the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my shit smells like andre
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This is my gift to your gina
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
