He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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