I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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