Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
