My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
