this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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