Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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