If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
