AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
