How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
