yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize