Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
