if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
